In fact, Dusty told his friend to shoot from the bridge as it would be more dramatic, and besides, he would easily be able to swim to shore to a congratulatory, awestruck crowd of beach goers. She has blonde hair and blue eyes, and was last seen wearing a sweatshirt, dark-colored shorts and blue Vans sneakers. We certainly do need to continue educating people about suicide prevention, including the reality that most people who survive a suicide attempt choose life afterwards. You can learn more about me here. Its great to hear that things are going well for you now. And now Ive been out of rehab for 5 months and its weird because all a sudden everything is going my way now. Theres another post that might be helpful to you, too: You Cant Do Everything: Limitations in Helping a Suicidal Person. I saw him hit the water like a bullet, said his wife. It was in 1984. I blame myself 100% for her suicide. He had a gun in the house that he never used, was trying to sell, I didnt even think of it during this time. Had she jumped somebody definitely would have noticed, and it would've been caught on CCTV (the cameras are placed on light poles so fog does not block). You note that installation of a suicide barrier at the Bloor Viaduct in Toronto merely caused people to go to other locations in Toronto to die by suicide. The man who tried to find fame by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, Horoscope for Saturday, 3/04/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Snowboarder dies at Tahoe ski resort following historic blizzard, West I-80 closed near Tahoe due to snow and 'multiple spinouts', Wife of Jeffrey Vandergrift issues somber update, Even Salesforces tower HQ isnt safe from office cuts, Inside Harry and Meghans favorite In-N-Out, Horoscope for Friday, 3/03/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Massive Lake Tahoe waterfront compound slashes price by $20M, This beloved East Bay hybrid cafe and bike shop is closing, Ja Morant says he'll get help after video shows apparent gun. Joshua Bote is the tech editor at SFGATE. I find myself returning to that time in my life and wondering if this is the way Im supposed to go, or if the survival instinct will continue to win. News. At times I hate myself. Of the 515 people whose attempt was interrupted, only 35 later died by suicide in the years to come. My advice to you or to those considering suicide or attempted suicide, please THINK of your loved one, your family and friends. It is important to note that there has been no activity on her phone, bank accounts, or social media accounts since Sept. 30. There is only a 4ft safety rail separating the sidewalk from the void, and 98% of suicide attempts there have succeeded. "There were many people in that vicinity during that time," said Mr. West. Yet it gives me great hope that the vast majority of suicide attempt survivors remain just that survivors. Therapists and doctors may help provide relief. My name is Steven. Have you found commonality in your suicidal patients? I used to believe my problems are so intractable that the only way out of my pain was suicide. Her father grew worried when she didnt call the next day the day she was last spotted in San Francisco. The Oscars will air on ABC and can be streamed on ABC.com and the ABC app as well as Hulu + Live TV, YouTube TV, AT&T TV or FuboTV. After all, they were intent on dying. A good place to start is the Facebook group Live Through This. In Mental Health circles there is a saying , that Sometimes suicide is inevitable. I dont understand why things are suddenly going so well for me though.. Youd think karma would hit me and make my life way worse but I guess the universe wants me alive for some reason? Thank you for providing this site. She is an amazing musician. It was the last thing Dusty did, and it was a failure, she said. The family of Sydney West is offering a $25,000 reward for her return. Despite having to raise two young children alone with barely a cent to her name, Lorraine refused many offers from news agencies to sell the film of her husbands demise. Simply put unless you die the battle won or pain doesnt matter. At 10 o'clock in the morning, Ken. She vanished without a trace from San Francisco, California, near the Golden Gate Bridge, a popular tourist spot for many. Will I Be Committed to a Mental Hospital if I Tell a Therapist about my Suicidal Thoughts? I just got out two days ago. Anyone with information about Sydneys whereabouts is asked to contact private investigator Scott Dudek by texting or calling 925-705-8328. She was a student at Donlon Elementary and Hart Middle schools and attended Foothill High School for her freshman and sophomore years. Since Sept. 30, there has been no activity on her phone or credit cards. I knew then that I would never try it again. Hundreds more are stopped from harming themselves through the efforts of the Golden Gate Bridge District . A narcissistic parent doesnt cause suicide, either lifes problems do or mental illness does. Im sorry to hear about all the pain youve been through. He has visited mental hospitals several times since his jump. I think it could be helpful to you. Dec. 11, 2019 Updated: Dec. 12, 2019 8:06 a.m. 5. The details of your life will, of course, be different but we have our humanness in common. He struck the water with his face. Theres people who love you and want you to keep pushing even if your soul reason is living to not put them through that heartache. I also knew that there was no hope whatsoever for what was wrong with me. You also can find other places to get help by phone, email, chat, or text at http://www.SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources/#immediatehelp. The chances of surviving. 10 Reasons Teens Avoid Telling Parents about Suicidal Thoughts. She was last seen in long, dark leggings, a teal hooded sweatshirt and slip-on Vans in a dark green and black print. Search within r/redsox. Your email address will not be published. Sergeant Kevin Briggs (also known as the Guardian of the Golden Gate Bridge [1] [2]) is a California Highway Patrol officer noted for his work in suicide intervention, having dissuaded more than two hundred people from jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge into San Francisco Bay. Required fields are marked *. They're asking anyone "who may have been walking, biking, running, who commute over the bridge particularly Wednesday mornings at that time" to share information. The chances of surviving are less than 1.5%, and almost zero if the feet don't hit first. 1998 - 2023 Nexstar Media Inc. | All Rights Reserved. On average, 30 people or more die from suicide here each year. Sydney Harbour Bridge has a suicide prevention barrier. This Walking Pad treadmill made getting 10,000 steps a How to get tickets for Depeche Mode's new tour dates. I pray tonight. She is 5 10 tall and weighs 130 pounds. He had lost two fingers in a knife fight on the set of the movie "Scarface." The memoir Half in Love: Surviving the Legacy of Suicide captures very well, to a painful degree, how someone who deeply loves their children can simultaneously feel pulled to end her life. As a teenager, I related so closely and had so many mixed emotions in comparing the results of my vs the characters attempts. Your Privacy Choices (Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads). Any suggestions? Sydney West Cameras on the Golden Gate Bridge recorded Sydney the morning of Sept. 30. She was carrying a black backpack and her light brown hair was pulled back into a bun. All clues so far, the family has revealed, have not been fruitful. Andrew Chamings is an editor at SFGATE. Too, people who attempt suicide may receive the help they need afterwards. First published on January 25, 2021 / 11:03 AM. If your child will play baseball or softball this spring, youll need to stock up on appropriate clothing and equipment. West took a rideshare service to the Golden Gate Bridge; the driver cooperated with San Francisco police and is not believed to be a suspect. Maybe in order to evade authorities who had refused permission to allow the jump legally 18 months earlier, he removed the weighted boots that were intended to keep him upright during the plunge. I have to attend Court for something I have not done, the pressures that as put on me is colossal, yetI still have to attend, I know I will collapse in court from the stress and also have a serious heart condition on medication for it. [This comment was edited, per the Comments Policy. I am a 60+ year old woman with four grown kids and six grandkids and when the darkness set in I could no longer see the effect this would have had on their lives. East Bay Wine & Whimsy (Metaphysical Market), Before & After Photos Show CA's Snowpack, Reservoirs After Storms, Best Bay Area Sandwiches + Stranded Hiker Rescued: Saturday Smiles, Sprawling Estates, Suburban Dreams: 11 Featured Bay Area Homes, Berkeley Police Warn Of Vehicle Theft Rise, The Poop On Free-Range Cats And Your Lawn And Garden [Block Talk]. Obviously, I failed. Take a trip somewhere I mean what do you have to lose, on your journey to wherever you may see life worth living make yourself do something. Sign up for free Patch newsletters and alerts. I am very sorry for your loss. Millions of eyes are going to locate her better than 20 sets, Jay West said. She failed at killing herself and learned a different process of questions to see her feelings. Dear Anthony, [feb.6.2019 @9.26am]. We will never recover from it. In 2000, he actually did jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. His father had died by suicide and even though I knew all of this, I couldnt see the forest through the trees. These findings are consistent with other studies that have looked at method substitution, which can occur when one suicide method is made unavailable and people substitute it with another. I wish you all the very best and I pray you each find a way to manage and control the thoughts of suicide. Key to my recovery was becoming realistic about my part in creating the calamity called my life, but also needed to recognize others responsibilities as well. West vanished Sept. 30 in San Francisco. Sure if youve got someone/s to bail you out after your attempt, yeah youve got a reason to live. Im afraid to try again and it just adds for anger, desperation, loss of control over my own life and guilt for those in my life who have to worry. But as long as your solution is to kill yourself , you wont see them even if theyre right in front of you. True or false is a perception that changes from person to person. As a person who has tried countless times to end my life, even shooting myself in the head, we are stuck living with yet another feeling of failure when we fail and continue suffering. Previously, police said she had not been seen or heard from since before dawn, on Sept. 29. Syd, Ive always loved you from the bottom of my heart, since the minute I saw your eyes open. Thats simply not true, but it took stepping outside my beliefs, becoming teachable and following the leads of others to find a life worth living. The sad thing is that, as I say in my letter, some of what your friend thinks and believes may actually be true, but his mind is probably also shutting him out of other truths that could balance out his pain. I tried to help her, I really did Except I didnt. I love to see that in the Comments section; I find it beautiful when people can connect in this way and, even more, when someone can tell another person what they havent believed for themselves. Reach out to someone, anyone because I can tell you they have no idea how you feel. Sydneyhas not used her phone, social media or bank accounts since she disappeared. I use to hate her for wanting to leave me, got diagnosed w depression at 15 have done so many therapy sessions. Leads continue to come in, her parents said. Sydney Kaitlyn West, 19, was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge around 6:45 a.m. on September 30, 2020. At the time of her disappearance Sydney was 5 feet 10 inches tall, weighs around 130 pounds with light brown hair and blue eyes. Photos purchased from Fotolia.com. My overdose gave me seizures. Sydney West was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge in the early morning hours of Sept. 30, walking near Crissy Field. My reason to live is so I dont hurt people who care but what if you have no one who cares there was a time I had no one it was only my stupidity that got the hospital aware of my attempt. Email: joshua.bote@sfgate.com and Signal: 707-742-3756, Six months after student's disappearance in San Francisco, family continues search, Horoscope for Saturday, 3/04/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Snowboarder dies at Tahoe ski resort following historic blizzard, West I-80 closed near Tahoe due to snow and 'multiple spinouts', Wife of Jeffrey Vandergrift issues somber update, Even Salesforces tower HQ isnt safe from office cuts, Inside Harry and Meghans favorite In-N-Out, Horoscope for Friday, 3/03/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Massive Lake Tahoe waterfront compound slashes price by $20M, This beloved East Bay hybrid cafe and bike shop is closing, Ja Morant says he'll get help after video shows apparent gun. Get browser notifications for breaking news, live events, and exclusive reporting. Cameras on the Golden Gate Bridge recorded Sydney the morning of Sept. 30. She is described as standing 5'10", weighing about 130 pounds, with light brown hair and blue eyes and possibly wearing glasses. I am dead broke, have exhausted both my savings and retirement stash, I am about to have my car repod and cant find a job. Dealing with the guilt is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. They understand the battle with weight loss and a zillion other things but not suicide. SAN FRANCISCO (CBS SF) The family of a UC Berkeley freshman who disappeared last September has offered a $10,000 reward for information in connection with the case. Once her gap year was over, she moved back to California decided to attend U.C. Everything says Get help. Her Disappearance: Sydney West was a 19-year-old freshman at U.C. When I arrived at the #FindSydneyWest vigil in Pleasanton, I said whoever is singing has a beautiful voice. About his dads suicide, your article helping me a lot to help. All 29 people who survived their suicide attempts off San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge have said they regretted their decision as soon as they jumped. Or, at least, balanced! West was last seen on the Golden Gate Bridge onSept. 30, 2020 just before 7 a.m., according to the San Francisco Police Department. Kevin Briggs. Ive been hospitalized 4 times in the past 6 weeks, after my 9th suicide attempt. Confessed to my dad and got shipped to a hospital. The most intuitive reason is that suicidal crises are, by their nature, temporary. West is 5'10" and slender at 130 pounds, with blue eyes and light brown hair. Rhodes was estranged from his wife Lorraine, who lived in the East Bay in Port Chicago with their two kids, Rocky, 4, and Oowala, 9, but he made arrangements for her to witness the stunt, maybe in the hope that the feat would win her back. There were probably signs that you had a drinking problem from the very beginning. It was a startling revelation. But the other day I told him that and now hes moving in with me again so my life is going good again! They are doing a med wash and released me with no meds, and actually said if I come back, I will be admitted long term. Thanks again. "Syd," as she liked to be called, was initially thought to have last been seen or heard from early the morning of September 30 in the Crissy Field area. The family of a Sydney West, a 19-year-old Pleasanton native and former Foothill High School student, is again asking the public for any information about their daughters whereabouts leading up to her disappearance last month in San Francisco. So in a couple days with no vehicle no money and no job, Im just supposed to trudge on, because life is precious or whatever other placating device people Banty about? Im wondering if youve seen the post If Only: Self-Blame After a Loved Ones Suicide. While living in San Francisco West enjoyed singing and playing the piano for open mic nights around the city. To request removal of your name from an arrest report, submit these required items to arrestreports@patch.com. The footage taken by Guzman didn't make the news, but was watched by a small, select group: the San Francisco coroners jury, which quickly ruled a case of accidental death from drowning a week later. San Francisco police and the Orange County Sheriffs Office in North Carolina did not immediately respond to a request for comment from SFGATE. YEAH? and our So it is with anything else, including suicidal thoughts. Now I dont know if I can fight it, but coping with failure and constant depression is impossible. Keep pushing on. Had medical intervention on the second. I know there will be a lot of people out there who will think a certain thing happened to Sydney. Interviews with jump survivors and potential jumpers . Suicide isnt an option, keep telling yourself that. Dayna. Anyone interested in following the investigation may do so on Facebook or Instagram, and tag posts with #FindSydneyWest. Turns out, it was a recording of Sydney singing. My hope for others feeling like that is they tell someone who can help them. On the morning of September 30, 2020, Sydney took a ride share service to the Golden Gate Bridge, where she often went to jog, practice yoga, and exercise in nearby Crissy Field. We interviewed our tech expert, Jaime Vazquez, to learn more about accessible smart home devices. Getting through them is the way to make your life your own again.. You definitely are not alone, and it does often feel good to be honest about suicidal thoughts to speak what many people consider to be the unspeakable. Shortly after 1 p.m. on March 8, San Francisco officials pulled the fully clothed body of a 56-year-old white man from the waves off secluded Marshall's Beach, just south of the Golden Gate Bridge. Maybe I didnt want to think he could actually do it. He recovered physically, but mentally he is now depressed and on anti-depressants,has anxiety attacks, is too emotional for working, and keeps saying he wishes he had succeeded with his attempt as he feels a burden to everyone. According to her family, a private investigator has followed up on dozens of. Golden Gate Bridge, suspension bridge spanning the Golden Gate in California to link San Francisco with Marin county to the north. what can I do. There are so many types of antidepressants these days (around 40), plus mood stabilizers, plus antipsychotic medications that can also be used to treat depression. The suicide barrier on the Sydney Harbour Bridge simply rerouted jumpers to a cliff popularly known as The Gap. The San Francisco Police Department's tip line can be reached at 415-575-4444. I tried commiting suicide and ended up brain dead Then after I got out of the coma, I was put in rehab for 11 months where I kept trying to break my neck and die because I missed my fiance so much (he wasnt allowed to visit me because he had attempted suicide with me too since he didnt want to live without me). I am a suicide survivor from India. Whether ones anchor to life is children or some other passion, it is a gift to have a reason for living that outweighs suicidal thoughts. My failure as a person was responsible for my extreme step. San Francisco Police have previously said the teenager "is considered at risk due to depression." Ive worked in Mental health, Ive lost a family member through suicide. Im all right, Im prepared for this! Dusty Rhodes yelled as he launched himself from the Golden Gate Bridge. When I woke up a day later, my depression had greatly improved. This is perhaps the best argument for preventing suicide. Her family still has hope that they will one day find her. Note: I wanted to make this post to hopefully create some sort of discussion around the case since it was almost a year and a half ago. I am resigned to staying alive until I die in some other way. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. A vigil was held last week for West in Pleasanton. Thank you for contributing to the discussion. Thank you. But then they are stopped from jumping. West, 19, disappeared on a foggy San Francisco morning, around 6:45 a.m. to 7 a.m. Wednesday, Sept. 30 on the Golden Gate Bridge. At least twelve hundred people have been seen jumping or have been found in the water since the bridge opened, in 1937, including Roy Raymond, the founder of Victoria's Secret, in 1993, and. [This comment was edited to abide by the Comments Policy. A missing person case has also been launched in Orange County, North Carolina, where West's family lives. Your email address will not be published. It was a serious, intentional attempt to end my own life. Andrew has written for The Atlantic, Vice, SF Weekly, the San Francisco Chronicle, McSweeney's, The Bold Italic, Drowned in Sound and many other places. She talked to herfather on the phone the day before shewent missing. How Parents Can Support a Child With Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Survivor Stories Empowered Me to Live, How Ive Survived and Thrived with Suicidal Thoughts, A Personal Note to Readers of Speaking of Suicide, Helping the Suicidal Person: Tips and Techniques for Professionals, psychotherapist and consultant in private practice. I pretended to have an awakening and successfully faked a born-again quality joy that warded off the idiotic, feeble attempts of others to help me. Email: Andrew.Chamings@sfgate.com | Twitter: @AndrewChamings. But overall, the evidence is that prevention is not simply a temporary delay of death. Which will turn into the vicious cycle of no job= no money, and no money = no job. Lately, the suicidal thoughts have permeated my brain. It was apparently very foggy that morning. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Construction of the Golden Gate Bridge suicide net, a coarse web of steel designed to catch and cradle people who jump, is two years behind . If you really love someone, please open up to them, share your feelings and talk to someone, suicide will never be the solution to any problem but creating pain to your loved one. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Thanks for sharing, Anne. For example, he may be telling himself that the way he feels and is now is the way he will feel and be forever. Others need to respect the decision. Well living isnt what its cracked up to be. She was last seen around 6:45 am when she was dropped off by a rideshare driver. Rhodes had been seeking fame all his life, and successfully became one of Hollywoods first stuntmen, appearing in movies such as "Under Arizona Skies" and "Duel in the Sun," in which he performed a cliff jump. Im sorry to hear of your loss The four-second fall from the Golden Gate Bridge sends a person plunging 245 feet (75 m) at 75 miles per hour (121 km/h) to . And there ended Rhodes four-years-in-the-making attempt to wow crowds and find fame by jumping from the bridge into the bay. Also Live Through This website has beautiful portraits (photographic but also in prose) of people who survived a suicide attempt. China sets this year's economic growth target at 'around 5%', Year after the slap, Chris Rock punches back in new special, Biden's Selma visit puts spotlight back on voting rights, Trump pitches a sequel, but shies away from attacking rivals, 20 cars of Norfolk Southern cargo train derail in Ohio, Indonesia fuel depot fire kills 19; 3 still missing, Athlete dead in shipwreck left Pakistan to help disabled son, China expands defense budget 7.2%, marking slight increase, Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway and husband are divorcing, Teen hikers rescued after days stuck in California snowstorm. I was so worried about him, but he refused to get help and he kept drinking. People are stupid. My brother did the same in 2002. ive suffered depression for Years, 2 suicide attempts in 2008. "Jump." That's the word Kevin Hines heard in his head on September 25, 2000, as he stood on the Golden Gate Bridge. User account menu. He says he fully expected to speak with her the next day and became very worried when she didnt return multiple calls from him. It is true that. None of us can. I couldnt pull all the way. Someone may have seen something -- any piece of information could help lead us to Sydney," parents Kimberly and Jay West said in a joint statement. At this point I feel like Ill just maim myself or end up locked up for a minimum of six months( yes thats happened to me). I live with a higher purpose now, but prior to my children I went through hell and constantly entertained the thought of killing myself. The Golden Gate Bridge came to be recognized as a symbol of the power and progress of the United States, and it set a precedent for suspension-bridge design around the world. I interviewed her parents.https://t.co/tiBGM53NZz pic.twitter.com/lvHh2cCrZg. I am not sure anybody really wants to die but I know many people, including myself, who are just sick and tired of living and want it to be over. God Bless You. If you enjoyed this article, subscribe now to receive more just like it. Overall, a meta-analysis of numerous studies that looked at bridges suicide barriers found them to be effective. She is from Chapel Hill, N.C. He published the results in an article titled Where Are They Now? America feeds narcissistic women because their joy is in materialistic consumption, the backbone of this country that once believed life had a higher purpose. According to her family, a private investigator has followed up on dozens of tips, but none have led to West's whereabouts. Each. West's parents are asking anyone who may have been commuting or exercising on the bridge to come forward with anything they may have seen. Its not always a change of mind when deciding not to jump its fear of failure, Hi Londa,