I feel so betrayed, devastated and its really painful to me. Im a hopeless romantic at heart. She has left me 10 to 15 times since we have been together but each time it still hurts the same. It has now been some time since then and many conversations regarding the relationship not being one where we operated as a couple. You can also visit her website Mint Movement here. Really she is 60. Telling them she didnt want them,etc, My ex just left me with all the bills lol he walked out of my life like nothing and im the only hurtingif you need someone to talk to Im here, the fafher of my baby gel have been hot n cold for abt three years now .well it started while i was pregnant he used to beat me kick me or drag me on the road beating me if i have found out that he was cheating.or even chase me away sometimes every time he does sumthing wrong but i kept on staying becoz i luvd him n ddnt want to hurt his feelings after giving birth i found out tht he have been changing gels like peds.well i wanted to move out but had no choice things at home are not gud but i stayed unhappy though sometimez he wud say words painfull one but becoz i loved this guy it wasnt easy to just live .i remember one day i was with him n hiz brothers i found out tht his talking with somether lady in his home the i waited for him to see me n then i took my child n went to sleep guess what he budge in n started to drag me out side i tried to run but had no power he catched me n started beating me up n tripped me then i fall n he drag me with my foot untill my leg got dislockated couldnt even walk i wanted out but i forgave him untill other day we werent talking coz he have started it so dd not ask went to shopping when i came back my clothes were out side even my babys clothes then i waited for him he said to me i must go n stay where i will feel free n do whatever i want there well i just packed my stuff n left but after a week came back to him untill now he said tht i must get my own man i said to its better i go n stay with my children instead of this bcoz this time around i have been asking him to stay with his family atlist once in a week not with friends especial gelz friends guys i need ur help am i wrong to move out of this relationship becos i feel like im all by myself n cant be happy when i feel like going out coz hell be controlling me like i am his wife, Thank you for your comment, Thulani. May God bless us with someone who really loves us and cares about us. Married 3 with a baby, also 3. "Dogs pick up on our emotions, so if the owner has died, the dog could be responding to the grief of others," Beaver said. My lawyer was shocked too and worked hard at just getting the things my mom gave me. My husbanda and u got married at a very young age, I was 20 and he was 23. Well, back story. Too bad he is having a mid-life melt down. We have three kids together. College educated with jobs. These are really dated terms. Below are the top five reasons for leaving that I hear about while working with divorcing couples in my therapy practice. Our two children were grown up and no longer living at home having started their own lives which made me feel even less needed or important in my wife life. Hi, another in the same boat, was with my partner for 8 years, we had had a rough year as his hours were dropped to 3 days, then he got suspended, then sacked , secured him a job at where i work, his mum extremely ill and died recently, stuck with him through all this and then 2 months ago he literally stood up and said he didnt know what he wanted and went, phone contact for a while now zilch, nothing, have asked in a text as he not speaking ( so didnt want to mither) if were done yes or no ? I knew it was something . Coping with the end of a relationship can be difficult on many levels. So, basically this proves to me she was using me for some time, which (while devastating perhaps) allows me to at least be thankful she isnt, and cant anymore. Can anyone help? Unlike bipolar or schizophrenia, a personality disorder is NOT a chemical imbalance! This whole situation is crazy. 3 grown daughters. She never friended me on Facebook, never liked my posts, red flags were going off all over the place. I went to my room to get some clothes and on the bed was his stained boxers next to her stained panties. She will not even contact my son, my god, what has he done wrong. Drinking ,infidelity and porn being the worst, both on his part. She recommends practicing self-compassion, and treating yourself the same way you would treat a friend going through the experience. This just didnt happen in my family. I haven't eaten or slept roperly in 2 weeks. When I left my mairriage of 8 years and finally divorce after 14 years I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I will never go back to my ex husband. He wanted to book a holiday for me and my daughter( not his child bit they have become so close she shes him and loves him like s dad) and stay in the house with us pretend everything was fine and tell my daughter before we went away that we were splitting up and he would be gone when we got back,!! Now that I have the courage and confidence to speak out about my story I want to inspire others through Mint Movement, a community for single parents. That really hurts. Then, the suggestion clearly doesnt apply. i do not think I could ever do this to another human being and especially one I am suppose to care about but then again I am not self-centered like she is! We starting counseling again and went through three counselors, one of which he choose, over the last 3 years. article. This is the second time I have been dumped under the same situations. He said he left because of lack of communication and the fact that I wasnt listening to him about his health. She really screwed you. !my son and my daughter in law found me twist the rope around my neck and around the tree but it was broke, I lay lifeless and I know that is divine intervention with my Holy Father anyway my point is is that I would not be able to endure what my husband did to me, without Jesus I mean I begged him on my hands and knees and help me with the pain cuz I couldnt handle anymore and one day he took it from me I no longer have it like I did Im confused now but my husband so I dont know what to do if he were to come back into my life but I would do it because God wanted me to and marriage is sacred to God and I dont want to go against my father I promise you thats the only way youll endure the suffering , and be assured that with every one of my trials and tribulations I have found the blessing the blessings outweigh any thing that we have suffered and we also have to keep in mind look at Jobe what he went through look what Jesus went through for usits only through this Christ that you will find true peace. On a recent vacation she screamed at a elderly relative proclaiming them evil for drinking a glass of wine. I worked 2 jobs for 5 of our 7 years to put him through school. May Han, a licensed marriage and family therapist from Beaverton, Oregon, says their abandonment could be due to a past trauma being activated by something in your relationship but, that may have nothing to do with the current partner.. I love him and i have tried to do a lot to make him happy. The hole in my chest is so vast. She ignored my calls and texts between then. This has always worked well for us. Theres no right or wrong way to grieve a relationship, but there are ways you can help yourself and find closure. Thats not a man.. She says she wants to live by herself with her 3 kids cause they are better off without me. Dear Tim Falling out of love in a marriage happens over time and is usually due to neglect on the part of one or both partners. Js. Love hurts. I picture my husband alone in his home. You will be happy again, I promise. Im not sure what exactly he was looking for, perhaps just being very emotionally transparent on an every day basis? They often feel offended by what they perceive as a general insensitivity to their "needs." As a result, they're . Just type online discussion forums into any search engine and youll find plenty of forums that can help you get through this. My now separated wife has called the police on me for suicide watch (ive never been suicidal) and also called childrens aid because I might be a physical danger to our son (the only hitting Ive ever done is on the hockey rink). They are the only thing that matters now and the better the life you make for them the quicker you will heal. for some of us who hates dating and hate being with other people. Submit your own storyhere, andsubscribeto our free newsletter for our best stories. As a result I decided to leave it as is and work on me, my kids and try to keep my lovely baby growing inside me as healthy and happy as possible. I asked if there was someone else she said of course but right now I dont know what to believe please help thanks Derek, My situation isnt all that different man. Words are just words, actions speak so much louder. Big or small I know it hurts, my husband left me too. I had no clue what was going on behind my back. Im now in a great place but I still have difficult moments and difficult days, specifically when it comes to parenting alone or finding things to do on the weekends. she just kept it in and kept it a secret.he was sending her money, and they were making plans for a long time her to leave and moved to England.now theyre engaged to be married and are making wedding plans.and also looking into a goth wedding, with a blood red dress and even have a guest invitation list.all this and she is still married to me.the divorce is pending, because of abandonment and being international,it could take years to finalize.I am at a loss for answers, I have no closer.I guess I will never get closer.this is clearly the worst thing that is ever happened to me. I still love her and want to be with her for the rest of my life. From my perspective your husband saying that he is not happy could mean several things: 1. Then four months later he came back and I got preganant. I know it sounds like a hard thing to hear, but sometimes when people get divorced their whole lives change. My only piece of wisdom from this whole scenario is that I have a Christian faith and it has really been keeping me sane by praying. My actually became a Judge in another County. Its just going to crush me down the rd seeing her with another man. Problems arise when you leave the house early, barely speaking to or connecting with your wife before you dash out the door. I am going through it myself. Feel like Im ready to give up. Apostle Paul said we humans face the test of times because we are like animals. 21 years of marriage, two kids been together since we were 22 and 21. I know that getting over your husband is a very difficult process to go through. I dont know how you rip it apart and then walk away like nothings wrong. She has made a huge mistake and she will have to deal with that and the hurt she has caused you and your children for the rest of her life. I hope to find a better job and will be the best dad I can be to my kids. Uncle in Illinois for a few weeks. Just happened? How can I make myself feel better and sleep better? So how do you know that a mental illness is there? It is so heart braking, that I can feel my heart hurt.My husband makes our marriage failure my fault. I think we both used sex to cope with stress. Sadistic. Looking for some advise,please. With Elizabeth Vargas, PMDD Quiz: Do I Have Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. But over the course of 13 years it would wear on her to the point that a few months back she finally broke down and told me how much it would hurt her. The strategies Brad reveals are extremely powerful and might make the difference between a happy marriage and an unhappy divorce. Even though I dont know you, I want you to know that I am praying for you. I dont know what to think anymore. I think thats why Im just waiting for him to call or come back, like he will realize he made a mistake. The truth is that there are probably a million reasons for his or her departure, but the one you choose to believe will set the tone for your perspective, attitude, and experience going forward. The simple text messages that said I love you or I miss you meant so much. After 3 weeks of mixed signals, sleeping in the same bed, having sex and her emotional outbursts at the kids, I asked her to leave. I feel like having the high moral ground vindicates me but the article recommends not using it. LOL. And our fights now revolve around not having sex. Jacob While its normal and noble to immediately feel like you would be willing and able to get over this infidelity its important that you know one thing. Maybe I just feel in love with the author. Unfortunately he watched a lot of YouTube videos by life coaches etc who say terrible things about the mentally ill, mostly get out while you can advice. They would go to the same school dances. I have faith in you and hopefully me reaching out will help show while there is real evil, there is real good in the world. Once my divorce was finalized, I met someone else myself, however my x then began to use this new person of mine to hide her guilt. she wants to become a UK citizen, to do that she has to marry this man. Im surprised falling out of love is listed as one of the reasons. I know that whatever is meant to happen will and nothing will be too much for me too handle as Im not in this alone. He says he loves me very much but is not in love with me I am devastated feel like Im dying inside. You can imagine how amazed I was at this concept coming from a male (not being sexist or anything!). Living in forgiveness will free you from some of the hurt in your divorce and allow you to move forward more healthily. Knowing there was no future is what killed me. Your partner met someone else. Plus her step mother has been trying to break us up for 10 years. She tried to abduct our son from daycare and it only didnt happen because my daycare worker knew of my wifes history and that Im more of the primary caregiver because of her instability. He had a bmw car which I later found out was his gfs carI think all his family know her and are aware that he loves her. Maybe there were reasons you didnt want to put energy and time into the relationship, or perhaps you felt like it was your partners job as much as yours. We were happy. I dont think I will ever be able to understand it and it scares the HELL out of me when once in a while I think I get inside of his mind what he thought process was to abuse me. I am so hurt. Doesn't Care. All was hunky dory but hes a moody sort and were back to I hate it the house, neighbourhood etc. Over the years we had many issues. Strung me along for 6 months while dating other woman. I am sorry I implied anything else regarding that. Nathan, thats terrible she left you & your kids. We slept in separate bedrooms and became room mates and certainly not what I had invisioned a marriage to be at the age of 51. I live by this rule. He said he filed for divorce on April 14. As hard as it can be to lose your partner, there probably is some part of you that shut down or got lost in the relationship. The older one continues to feed me hurtful stories such as the lock out incident recently and although it gets to me and the ex continues to tell people her daughters just a liar, I have seen enough to know not everything that little girl says is a lie. When you give yourself to a person completely then they just walk out of your life like nothing its so easy for them I feel depressed and dont know how to cope everything reminds me of him and its harder at night sleeping alone I saw this coming but still wasnt prepared enough. You might feel like youre on an island all by yourself, but thats not true. I am loosing my home in a few weeks because im disabled and she was the breadwinner. We lost our connection several years before I left. Lost 6 kg. My husband had a very bad anger issue as well actually. He said no, that for the first time in years he finally had a best friend. Cheating partners often dont even want to work on saving the relationship or marriage, increasing levels of frustration and hurt. Im so confused I thought thats why I was there everyday. I dont know how to break out and go figure, yes constantly telling me hes going to divorce me. I have been married for 27 years and we dated for 4 years. My friends have brilliant in all this and Im starting to feel like in time I will get over this but the hurt is sometimes unbearable. Individuals who lost 5 percent of their body weight over the course of four years were more likely to feel depressed . We drifted apart, the excitement, the compassion and love faded away to nothing. And if you talk to them about it, they might be able to help you get through it faster. I dont get how someone can break up their family without trying to work on the marriage. Sign the SBP, 10 yr rule for half his retirement and get your cs and alimony. We have 3 girls 10.11 and 13. He acts like he hates me and he told me at Christmas that he is sick of me and he doesnt care if i stay or left but,i can leave the kids. The visits start again They might even join in on helping you through this by giving comfort or simply laughing with you at how messed up your marriage is now. Psych Central does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. I was so scared and so alone and it was all of a sudden. I dont even care how she treats me anymore, but its tearing our son up and that is really hard to see, knowing theres little I can do for him. She tells me that that even though her and I have a fabulous connection and relationship, she still is lonely for her family. He feels I am impossible to please. Then there is the one thats left out. Sure, I knew things had not been great between us, but I never thought she would leave! I started loving my wife when I was 15. Most husbands work outside the home to provide for the family. If he doesnt get a rise out of me, he becomes enraged and starts drama then tries to blame it on me. Keep me posted on how things are going for you. Thanks for your input. He was two weeks into an emotional affair, and he says, wanted to do the right thing by not cheating on me. I have stood with her thru the good and bad times and now that I am out of the house she treats me like Im a stranger. My husband of 10yrs left me, said he didnt live me anymore. I looked everywhere and i sat outside of the area for a long time. This just might be a part of a painful process where you have to learn how to get over someone. Move on and dont look back you deserve better then that some times broken glass need to stay broke dont try to fix it sweep it up and throw it away GOD is gonna put your soul mate right in front of you bless you and Carrie on you dont need that to be in contact in front of your children.its her lost dont take her back eitherthen she win. Most men would be happy to have a wife who takes excellent care of their kids, worked many jobs, owns a business, masters degree, and cooks and cleans. He is worried about more his material things than me or our marriage. children. I invite you to read 'Paul's' story (not his real name). This I also discovered. Awful. It appears the more you try, the more you are rejected. So until that happens, dont waste minutes precious minutes and time thinking about what he did to you or how you wanted to change. She said that she doesnt want my money.But Im sorry but it is pretty hard to trust her after what she has done.I still love her,after all we have been together for almost 28 yrs.